Around 1:30 in the morning the cramps that I had been having were strong enough to wake me up. Also, they had a definite beginning and ending which was new. Up until that moment, I just kind of felt mild cramps that didn't really start and stop. I woke Imran and my mother in law up because I still wasn't convinced they were actually contractions. I guess I had an idea of what a contraction was going to feel like and these did not match so I was in denial that labor actually started. We called one of the midwives and she advised us to try and get through them for the next hour or two and then call her back and tell her how close together they were.
When we called the midwife (Cassie) again a couple of hours later, the contractions were still going strong and they were pretty close together, I think about 5 minutes apart. Cassie decided to come over so she could assess how far along the labor was and to help me deal with the contractions. By the time she arrived I was in a lot of pain, for a few hours singing one of my favorite Timbers Chants was getting me through each contraction in addition to cursing at the top of my lungs. Our poor neighbors had to hear that for 4 or 5 hours.
By 7:00 a.m. I was 5 centimeters dilated and Cassie said Rocco's head was super low so we decided to go to the birth center. Riding in a car while having contractions is awful, and at the moment I had no idea that the pain would get a thousand times worse. It was the worst car ride of my life.
They had the tub full and ready for me when I arrived, which I was excited about since at home getting in the shower seemed to help me. I got in the tub and as soon as the next contraction came I was miserable. The tub was so big I felt like I had nothing to hold on to, like I wasn't grounded at all and it just made the pain worse. I got out as soon as that contraction was over and never went back in. It is funny all of the preparations you make before you go into labor, like you have some idea of what it will be like and what you will want. When it comes down to it, all of those preparations get thrown out the window. You can't prepare yourself for something that intense, it is impossible.
For the next 6 hours I had contraction after contraction, they got worse and worse as well as my yelling and cursing. I never thought that both "Jesus" and "Fuck" would be coming out of my mouth with such frequency and strength. My voice hurt for days after. At one point Imran said I was falling asleep in between contractions and talking nonsense to him. I faintly remember trying to tell him things that had nothing to do with the labor and realizing it wasn't the right time to do that.
By 1:30 in the afternoon I had begun pushing. We tried lots of different positions, the toilet being where I had the most progress. I felt like with each push surely he should be crowning, but no such luck. They kept explaining to me that his head was making its way through my pelvic bone but it didn't help my frustration, I wanted more progress than that! His head finally began crowning while I was on the toilet, so the midwives had me walk over to the birthing stool so that they could catch Rocco when he came out. Walking while there is a baby's head half out of your vagina is the most surreal feeling in the world, and is probably the most vivid memory I have of the whole thing. Once I was on the birthing stool I think it took just a couple more pushes to get the head out, which was a huge feeling of relief. Then with one big push his slimy little body came out and they put him in my arms. He was bigger than anyone had anticipated (unfortunately for my lady parts), 8 pounds 13 ounces (and that was after he took a big shit!). Total pushing time was 3 hours.
Once the midwives checked everything out they left us alone for an hour so that we could spend some quality time together, and then after that they came in and took our vitals and made sure we were both healthy.
At the time I was pissed at myself for deciding to give birth naturally, I remember telling the midwives that I couldn't take it anymore, hoping they would take me seriously and send me to the hospital for an epidural. That didn't work however, they pretty much ignored me or told me that I was doing great. Now that it is over though, I am really glad I chose the birthing center. The atmosphere was so calm and soft the whole time. We stayed for 2 nights, they had a doula there 24 hours who would come in and clean up for us, bring us food, help us with nursing or changing the baby....anything we needed. I also got a massage the day we left which was much needed, my whole body was sore.
So that is pretty much it, I hope this wasn't too dry of a read. I am sleep deprived at the moment and still sore. Here are some pictures of the room Rocco was born in...
 |
| Where all the magic happened! |
beautiful story. and as hard as it was to write today, being so tired and needing to tend to rocco, you'll love looking back on it next month, next year, and many years to come. i'm glad you were able to get it down on paper. what an amazing story caroline. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete